


Stan The Man Uris is fooling himself

by AdriYay



Series: Fool [2]
Category: IT - Stephen King
Genre: Asexual Stanley Uris, Emotionally Repressed, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, Repression, kinda sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-06
Updated: 2018-02-06
Packaged: 2019-03-14 14:05:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13591641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdriYay/pseuds/AdriYay
Summary: A boy that’s forbidden to Stan.





	Stan The Man Uris is fooling himself

The thought of being queer startles Stanley Uris to no end. He has a very religious family and there are no chances of anyone around him accepting him if he actually turns out to be…

            But he isn't. He really isn't. He doesn’t want girls and he doesn’t want boys. There are people who don’t want any, right? People who spend their lives alone and are perfectly fine with the fact that they have no one to come home to. Maybe Stan could live like that, with enough free time to bird-watch whenever he wants to.

            But Stan can’t picture a future without Richie. He doesn’t want to. He doesn’t want to imagine how it would be not to have a very beautiful and _very_ annoying guy jumping around him and talking endlessly about how he was supposedly buried in Eddie’s mom or doing weird Irish voices that just sound like an ill Richard Tozier.

He knows his future won’t be the same, hell, he knows Richie will change with time and may actually get better at his million voices (God, he hopes). But he doesn’t want to imagine it without his best friend. He wonders how empty his life would feel without the boy, how he would spend his time fantasizing about freckled cheeks and a loud laugh that only made him feel warm inside; how he would miss looking into those gorgeous eyes that sparkle with joy and mischief. God, he would miss the jokes, and that’s saying a lot.

            But he can’t be in love with Richie Trashmouth Tozier. He can’t. He simply isn’t queer and he knows his best friend isn’t either (The thought made his heart drop low into his stomach whenever it made its way into his conscious mind, unburying itself from the depths only to make Stan feel miserable). The more he reflects on it, the less can Stanley believe the only person he’s ever loved is a boy, a boy, like him. A boy with a soft face that is starting to show signs of sharp angles and very handsome features. A boy with a deep but very characteristic voice that Stan notices is getting less cracky and more stable with time. A boy that has breathtaking eyes behind those horrendous glasses that actually look more _Richie_ than anything Stan has ever seen. A boy that’s always making inappropriate jokes at inappropriate times. A boy that sometimes seems the exact opposite of him but that, more often than not, fit just the right way with Stan’s personality. A boy that seemed not to be annoyed by Stan’s talking about birds and his weird bird-watching habits. A boy that actually seemed to enjoy Stan’s company and whose company Stan very much appreciates.

 

A boy that’s just perfect for Stan.

 

A boy that’s forbidden to Stan.

 

If his parents knew what he was thinking, he would never see his friends again, he would actually lose them and his visions of a lonely and Richie-less future would come true. So he’d keep quiet. He’d catch himself whenever he looked at Richie the wrong way, or when he would stare for too long, or when he would start daydreaming during his study time.

Yes, he’d keep quiet and try to fool himself out of these feelings, because he’s not allowed to be in love with Tozier.

 

God help him and his shattering heart.        


End file.
